Training Progress in Pictures

I've found out how to put images into my blog so decided to be all 'arty' and update you on my 'training progress' in picture format...

Seeing as the days are getting longer, and this evening was lovely, Ava and I went out for a walk / run ...

Started out like this....

Then This ....

to This ....

Ava was not at all happy she had to wait for me...

As a daughter, she's my best friend.  As a trainer, she's a bit of a bitch!

Unfortunately, as it's less than seven weeks to the mini marathon (10k), I'm going to have to bring her out with me more often.

Have To Walk Before You Can Run

I'd better get back on track with this weight loss / getting fit project quick!  It seems my concert / drinking session last Monday, my indulgent break to County Clare, the Easter egg overload, kids off school making it difficult to get out exercising, and a meal out with the girls last night, has resulted in a 2 steps forward, 326 steps back.  That might be a slight exaggeration but I don't really know because my weighing scales has decided to stop working .  No, I did not break it.  It just needs a new battery but I am in rush to fix that slight problem to be honest.

Last night I took Bobby to his football training and I usually relax with a book for the hour. But I decided to be healthy and jump start my 'weight loss / getting fit project' again by going for a walk instead.  It was a lovely evening, still bright but cold and crisp, and I walked as fast as I could for twenty five minutes before turning around.  I had no music with me so I just talked to myself - I'm a great conversationalist! Now even though I was walking I was trying to work out what I was going to order in the Chinese later on that night, but it was a start, right? And better than sitting down, reading a book and scoffing more chocolate!

While walking, I heard footsteps slapping the pavement behind me.  Then I could hear panting, and a heavy woman jogged past me. She was wearing loose black tracksuit bottoms, and a black top.  Her hair was long and covering her face.  She was red and sweating and breathing heavily.  She was running bent slightly forward, like someone had their hand placed in the centre of her back and was pushing her.  She looked like she very badly wanted to stop running, but you could feel the determination coming off her in waves - there was no way she was stopping until she was done.  I don't know what was pushing her - a determination to reach a certain distance, time? A determination to lose weight? A determination to just meet goals she has set for herself?  Either way, I actually felt like clapping and applauding her.  I wanted to shout out  'Fair play, you're doing great!'.  (I didn't of course, I'm not that weird!) But I felt 'If she can do it, I can do it!' and I walked that bit faster.  Instead of planning my Chinese I started thinking about a meal plan and exercise schedule for the week ahead.  

Then from the opposite direction, coming towards me, was an Amazon woman.  Tall, sleek, blonde hair up off her face in a pony tail, fluorescent yellow jacket and tight leggings, leaping down the road.  She was running, not a drop of sweat disturbing her perfect make up, and bouncing, no - jumping!, up in the air with every step.  (I actually wanted her to trip and fall, but I digress...)   I guess she had to start somewhere too - maybe at the point I am at now.  Again, 'If she can do it, I can do it!'  Obviously not right away - but you get the point.  (and I'll be leaving the bright yellow jacket at home).

Each journey starts with a single step.  And I'm back - walking for now.

Climate Change

Last week in work I got a surprise text from Bernard to say he had booked a holiday cottage in County Clare for the Easter weekend (aaaah!).  A short family break away - bliss!  Unfortunately, this happy news seemed to coincide with the abrupt change in our weather.  What happened to global warming?  Why couldn't we have a bit of that?  No, in Ireland it's all about climate change.  Irish weather used to be cold and wet.  Now, thanks to climate 'change', it's colder and wetter, with added snow.  Snowing? In Ireland??  For Easter break???  It's beyond a joke.  And, despite it snowing for the second day in a row, it's still not sticking.  Kids are off school, it's been snowing pretty consistently, and yet there's not enough to make a freaking snowball.  However, there is just enough to ensure that the kids are holed up indoors, noses glued to the windows, driving.their.parents.mad.

But there's a swimming pool in Clare to keep the kids happy, and a fridge to keep the wine cold, which in turn keeps Mommy very happy.  Just as long as we get there....

Reunited

Well the kids are home and happily reunited with their playstation / less favoured animals that were carefully, and with much guilt, selected to remain home to await Ava's return (as it was she took Dog, Unicorn, Snowy Leopard, Auntie Elepant, Kaloo, Fluffy Ears, and Bear, along with some 'things to play with'. But there's only so much room in the car). They've each said they missed me. Of course I said I missed them too but I actually believe they meant it.  :-)

Jack is continuing to learn things the hard way.. He said he always thought I 'was just born harsh'  but he now realises there is someone 'even more devilish' than me and that Grandma is definitely 'hardcore'! Apparently I trained at the hands of a master.

Rock and Roll

What a great night!  Rushed home from work yesterday, grabbed a sandwich, and then dropped the kids to Grandma's before getting home again to change. Our friend Dave collected us and off we went into town, checked in (The Morgan Hotel - very posh!) and were down having drinks in the bar in olympic time. We may be old but we can move fairly fast when there's alcohol to be had! Dave's wife Orla met us in the bar for a drink, and we had time for a quick bite to eat before heading to the gig....  

We had seated tickets and I was relieved to see that I was conveniently placed close to both the bar and the toilets - important priorities.  I looked around the crowd and couldn't see any psychedelic, off the shoulder jumpers with stonewashed jeans. What I did see was a group of forty somethings with glasses, cardigans, and bald spots starting to form at the top of a lot of heads.  And then the party started... and by 'party' I mean music because people were complaining and calling over the attendants whenever someone stood up out of their seat!!  So there was very loud singing and very polite clapping   :-)    Eventually, the curmudgeon was ignored and people did stand and start to wave their hands in the air....  La la la la la la LA la lalalalalalala, walk on by, la la la ....  But after each song, people would sit back into their seats before thinking it over and deciding whether or not to stand up again for the next song.  But they didn't just 'sit down', most people actually looked down behind  them, as if to ensure the seat was still there, before sort of lowering themselves slowly back onto the seat.  This was not a nimble crowd.

Fortunately, Jim Kerr and Simple Minds were in flying form.  The lighting was brilliant, the sound was fantastic, and of course the music is simply great.  At the end of the show, the polite crowd stood up and patiently waited their turn to exit their row of seats. There was no immature chanting or demands for more - it was approaching midnight after all.

Back to the hotel for a nightcap (mojito, anyone?) before heading up to our respective rooms.  How delightful the slumber when it is not interrupted by children's voices at 6 am...  Then breakfast in bed...  Standing in reception when checking out, I watched as snow flakes fell onto Dublin's cobble streets - it was like a picture from a fairy tale... Then home.

I'll be leaving to get the kids shortly - funny how they seem so much funnier, and loving, and sweet when they're somewhere else.  But at the moment, I'm sitting here on my couch, snuggled in my sweatshirt, looking out at the snow, with a big mug of hot tea in my  hand.  Yep, I am so rock and roll.

A Simple Minded Fact

I was talking to someone the other day about my forthcoming night out to see Simple Minds (can you tell how excited I am?!).  I was going on and on about Jim Kerr, and the band, and that they're planning to play for 2 hour and 50 mins (!!) and how I couldn't pick a favourite song, when I paused for a breath and happened to look at her face.  She didn't have a clue what I was going on about.  She admitted she didn't know Simple Minds so I proceeded to actually (attempt) to sing some of the songs.  She interrupted this embarrassing interlude by saying she 'might have heard about them somewhere'.  (ouch!!) 

I spent my evening contemplating on how young this colleague of mine is.  Not to have heard of Simple Minds?  One of THE biggest bands of the eighties?  Don't You Forget About Me? All The Things She Said?? Alive and Kicking?!?  Then it hit me - like a bloody bullet to the brain.  She's not young.  I AM OLD.  The look on her face when I was trying to explain about Simple Minds must have been similar to my expression when my mom was talking about Frankie Avalon (Frankie Avawho, right?).   My colleague is 21 years old - which means she was born in 1992.  7 (seven!) years after Simple  Minds released their Once Upon a Time album - which I bought on tape and listened to on my walkman. Are you hyperventilating yet?!?  

Well, Simple Minds might be a bit dated.  And I might be old.  But I am going to rock it out at the Olympia tomorrow night, zimmer frame nearby just in case!  

Shrek Gets A Hair Cut

The Simple Minds concert is on Monday night and, to compensate for not buying a new outfit, I decided to get my hair cut.  Sure, doesn't every woman love being pampered and getting her hair done?  Umm, no.  I always start off thinking I love getting my hair done, and always end up in the car on the way home, fighting back tears, and thinking how I hate it.  And the whole process of getting my hair done follows a very distinctive pattern...

First, you look in the mirror one day and think 'my hair is getting long'.  And then, over a few weeks, the thought progresses from 'I really need a trim' to 'There's no style at all to my hair' to 'It looks like a tangled bush'.  Eventually it gets to the stage that even the kids are suggesting 'You should do something with your hair, Mom.  It looks weird'.  So you book the appointment and the excitement starts to creep in.  I'm getting my hair done, I'll be all  pampered, I'll come out looking great!  

The morning of the appointment arrives and for the first time in ages (since the morning of your last hair appointment actually) your  hair looks A-mah-zing!  Bit of a bounce to it, falls neatly where it should, has a bit of a shine. And you feel great and sexy and confident as you walk into the hair salon.  You sit down and leaf through the magazines thinking that if you look this great now, imagine what you're going to look like afterwards!  Then they sit you down in the chair in front of the mirror to wait for your 'consult'.  

A word about the mirrors in hair salons - they are exactly like the mirrors in changing room cubicles.  Which means, they make you look Horrible!  They add about ten pounds and there is nowhere to hide.  At least in the changing room you can cower privately in the corner as you try on clothes.  You can also choose to ignore the 'big' (pun intended) picture and just focus on whether or not this shade of red suits your arm; how does the collar suit my neck; how does my bum look...  Basically, you look at yourself in separate bits, not as a whole.  But while sitting there in a hair salon's chair staring at your face in a mirror, it's kind of hard to miss your face in the mirror. And by face, of course I mean three chins.   Then along comes the stylist who, naturally, is about 5 foot, blonde, and weighs less than my left hand. So between the unflattering (mean, horrible, nasty) mirror and Thumbelina standing beside me, I'm feeling like Shrek.  

But then the situation takes a turn for the better.  The stylist seems really nice, not at all put off by my huge bulk in the chair, and says 'So, what are we doing today?'... What a lovely word 'we' is...  It instantly evokes a sense of camaraderie, a feeling of togetherness.  I sit up a bit in the chair, a smile beginning to form on my lips, and start to speak... Well, I was thinking of A, B, and C, all the while she is nodding and smiling and looking at my hair - leading me on under false pretences, in other words.  Then she stands up straighter and says 'Okay, I will do X, Y, and Z'..  Wait!!! Why 'I'? What happened to 'We'??   I don't understand.  Did she not hear me properly, or understand what I was saying?  Does she want to try out a new skill?  Or does she think - you are so fat, all I can do to somewhat retain my reputation is x, y, and z....  If that's the case, I wish they would just be honest and say so out loud, and not let me think that I actually have any say in the styling of my hair....  Of course, I nod and smile and agree and die a little inside - every single time.  

When I got home no-one noticed I got my hair cut ... Anyway, the concert should be good fun... maybe I'll wear a hat.

Quitting Cold Turkey

Well, I did it.  Actually, did it.  I deactivated my facebook account.  Going cold turkey.

After Christmas, I came off facebook for awhile, and I was amazed at how much I could accomplish with my time.  Five minutes to spare?   I could fold laundry, sweep the floor, hoover the stairs, hang out a wash, read the next  chapter in my book....  But when on facebook, a quick log in and thirty minutes, an hour, could pass very quickly.  But I hadn't deactivated my account - I wasn't posting, and I wasn't liking or commenting on threads, but I was still logging in the odd time and checking out statuses, seeing what was happening.  Eventually, I got pulled back in.  And when I was back, I was back.  Back to posting on a regular basis and feeling a sense of achievement with every new 'like'.  I was also invited back into my closed groups and I quickly became ensnared once again in the sometimes dysfunctional, sometimes funny, but always honest dramas of other members' secret soap opera lives.  Another group was related to weight loss, and again I was posting about fitness and losing weight, instead of actually getting up off my arse and getting fit and losing weight.

I have so much to do in my house, the least of which is cleaning (which gives an idea of just how much I have to do!!) and yet I found myself today sitting on the couch, for just a second!, to check into facebook.  It was a eureka moment - I had to quit facebook, and leave it cold turkey.  The only way to get my life back was to deactivate my facebook life.

Not A Proper Blog

I am feeling more like myself today, for the first time in nearly a week.  I still have the sore throat and cough, but the tiredness is gone.  I was soooo sleepy all week (very unlike me) and disorientated, not able to focus on anything.  So, in much better form you'll be glad to know!

One of the downsides of not feeling well was that I did no exercise at all this week.  (not sure if I caught a virus or if seeing the half marathon course actually hit me like a lightning bolt).  But you would think the lack of exercise would be off set by the complete lack of appetite.  But this is me we're talking about - I was only sick and not lucky enough to be touched by the miraculous hand of an angel, so my lack of appetite means that of course I ate, but didn't enjoy anything I ate.  I am going to wait until Monday morning to get back out exercising.. Why  not tomorrow?  Because tomorrow is Mother's Day and I expect to have an extra long lie in, followed by some nice treats!  But definitely, Monday morning....

I had a look at the calendar and these are some of my upcoming events:-
2 weeks to Simple Minds gig in the Olympia / night out on the town
10 weeks to Bobby's First Holy Communion
12 weeks to the 10k Mini Marathon
21 weeks to the 13.1m Half Marathon
23 weeks to family holiday in County Clare ..

When I set these dates on my calendar, I envisaged buying new clothes for each one...  I have lost 14 pounds in eight weeks - which is great, but not actually noticeable to anyone but me. I have lost weight off my face but really nowhere else, and I presume it will be awhile before I drop clothes sizes.  Until then shopping will continue to be the depressing nightmare it has been for the last number of years. Hopefully come May though I can buy something pretty for Bobby's big day...  Hopefully.

 When I said to Bernard how happy I was to lose the weight without any actual effort he got a bit annoyed with me.  He feels I have made a  huge effort, especially as I've been getting up and working out before the kids get up out of bed.  But to be honest, after I work out I have about ten minutes during which I can sit in silence, have a cup of tea and read The Journal on line,before the morning mayhem begins.  And it's the thought of that short, quiet interlude that actually propels me up and out of bed in the mornings.  Plus I enjoy the 'me time' I get from the work out.  It gives me a chance to sort things out in my head, projects to be done, plan meals for the week, etc. and  I have so much energy afterwards.  Also, by the time the kids are up and we're in the thick of it all, I've usually forgotten that I've done any exercise at all. :-)

This is the first time I've taken the focus off of food and losing weight.  I plan to get fitter, healthier and yes, of course, I hope weight will come off as a result.  But I have stopped planning my entire life around food.  Usually when I want to lose weight, I cook stir fys and crunch celery sticks, surround myself in rice cakes, and deprive myself of all things nice.  And the result - food is all I can think about!  Then comes the regular weekly weigh in - and regardless of the number, it's the day you Eat!!  Eat, eat, and eat some more - coz you have six more days before the next weigh in....  Over the last few weeks I have not consciously changed my eating patterns, but I have noticed changes.  Smaller portions, feeling full quicker and responding to that by not cleaning the plate, and I don't have the urge to eat in the evenings while watching tv.  I haven't had a chocolate bar in weeks - because I haven't wanted one, despite having my period.  Remarkable!  Plus the early mornings have resulted in an earlier bedtime and I have been sleeping so much better.

Anyway, I'm proud of how I'm feeling.  There is still a long, long way to go but I am getting there.  If this was a proper blog, I would have numbers, and charts, and progress pictures...  But it's embarrassing enough just writing this shit down.  Pictures?!  Actual statistics?  Nope.



 

Alcohol Induced Decision Making

It was a gorgeous day here today!  Went for a brisk walk around Newbridge House this morning (loads of cute birds out searching for nest building materials), then came home and hung out a wash.  Is it just me, or does the sight of sheets flapping on the washing line give you a good, happy feeling inside?  Just me? Oh-kay.  I think it's the defiant act of hanging out a wash in this contrary Irish weather and thinking, optimistically, that today maybe, just maybe, the wash will DRY out there. I dunno, but it makes me feel happy...  (by the way, the sheets did not dry (surprise, surprise) and are now draped all over my radiators and will have to be ironed...)

So, I'm in the kitchen in great form, feeling the joys of Spring, when it happened.  I got notification that the course for the Rock and Roll Dublin Half Marathon has been announced.  I know the race is 13.1 miles. I know it's going to be hard.  But when I signed up for it I thought (obviously my brain was somewhat fuzzy by wine) that it was at least do-able.  That I had time to train and would be able to undertake the challenge.  (I think the image in my head involved a slight jog around Temple Bar and a Chariots of Fire type crossing of the finish line).  Honestly, I thought my days of bad-decision-making-based-on-the-consumption-of-alcohol were long behind me.  Apparently not. Maybe I should give up wine? (Although just getting Bernard to hide the credit card at the weekend is probably a more realistic option).

13.1 miles looks really, really long.  Showed Bernard, previously known as my number one supporter, the course and his first reaction was 'Phoenix Park?!  Remember that 5 mile race you did there and the hills nearly killed you?'...  No, I had actually forgotten about (purposely blocked from memory) Phoenix Park and the stupid hills (MOUNTAINS) but I am so glad you reminded me and made my blissfully ignorant, still think I can do this, mentality only temporary ...  Jack, previously known as my number two supporter, just said 'Yep, no way you're running that'....  

Yes, I know it's stupid.  Yes, I know me doing such a thing is completely far fetched, ludicrous even.  But you know what?  I really want to do it....   God help me, that better be enough.. 

Lazy Sunday

I love lazy Sundays.  Day started with Jack bringing me up a cup of coffee in bed ( one of the thousand great things about a Nespresso machine - perfect coffee with just the press of a button. Even a child can do it!) .  I got up and did my treadmill run . Ava came out to keep me company, which translates to 'Can't you go faster?'  'How much longer?' 'When can I have a go?'..  I must remember to lock the door in future...

I felt great afterwards, like I could do anything. I didn't actually do anything today but I felt I could if I wanted to.. .

Rest Day

It was all systems go today. This was the first Saturday in ages that the football pitches were playable and both boys had games.  Jack 'turned' at Christmas time - he decided to leave the gaelic he's been playing since the age of four and join the soccer team, and this was the first match he'd be playing in... Very exciting, so we were all up early.  It was soooo cold this morning that I was scurrying around trying to find under armour tops, leggings, hats, scarves, and gloves.  The lads seemed pretty cold in their shorts but I was nice and warm on the sideline!

I got to see the second half of Bobby's game and the first half of Jack's.  Bobby's team has not lost a game in over a  year, and today was no exception.  Bobby also scored a hat trick, again nothing new there!  :-)    Poor Jack was so nervous -  he had a few really good tries, but just not on target.  I had to leave the game early to take Ava to her party and before I reached the car Bernard texted me that Jack has scored!  So annoyed I missed it, but so happy for him!  Has given him a much needed confidence boost.  His team won as well today!  We'll celebrate with a bottle of wine later - when the kids are tucked up asleep in bed, of course.

I drove Ava to her party...  Came home for lunch...  Sorted out clothes for Bobby's football party - tracksuit bottoms with no holes in the knees, which took a while to find...  Spent fifteen minutes trying to explain to Bobby why, yes it does matter that there are no holes in your trousers.  No, I don't care that all the other boys will probably be wearing trousers with holes.  Yes, it is important that you look nice going to the party...   Collected Ava from the party... Got petrol - by the time I drove into the garage I think the car was running on fumes...   Brought Bobby to his party...  Did food shopping...  Collected Bobby from his party. (nobody had holes in their trousers that I could see)... Cooked dinner...  Brought Bobby to mass (his communion is in May)...  Made popcorn for movie night...  

I didn't get doing a run but then again today was a 'Rest Day' on my schedule.

Rogue Element

This time last week I was standing in the cold at my boys' football training, moaning that my Friday nights couldn't get any worse.  I was dreading the same again tonight.  Until the text came in saying it wasn't on!  Hallelujah!!  Friday night in my warm living room with a glass of cold wine...

But I had forgotten the rogue element, the fly in the ointment if you will, that goes by the name of Ava.  She has a party to attend tomorrow and hadn't yet chosen what to wear. And for some strange reason (anyone that knows me knows I am certainly no fashionista) I got to 'help'..  I think she just wanted  my opinion so that my choices could go into the Definitely No pile...  And while sitting there amongst the discarded garments (tops, skirts, trousers, dresses, cardigans, tights, headbands) and watching Ava model her 1,874 outfit I realized that ... yes, things can always get worse....

Play Dates

Ava is home from her second play date this week. And she has a birthday party this weekend... I don't even get invited for coffee anymore.  Apparently all the mothers are too busy hosting play dates.  I don't have time for a social life anyway - I am way too busy with my side line job, chauffeuring my children around to parties, and swimming, and football, and dancing, and athletics, and training, and.....  And I am the worst for returning play dates. It's not that I'm so busy that I couldn't handle an extra kid around the place (though 'busy' is the excuse I give) it's just that it seems like so much work nowadays.  The kids come home not only fed and played out, but also with their homework done!  How organized are these moms - I find it hard enough to get my own kids to do their own homework.

But I'm not jealous of my children's happy social lives. Nope, not at all.

Poetic Licence

It was really hard getting out of bed this morning.  Don’t know if it was the comfortable bed, the dark morning, or the steak and wine I had last night.  Yep, steak and wine on a weeknight!  Bernard unexpectedly prepared a lovely dinner, accompanied by a glass of really nice, velvety smooth, red wine.  However, don’t be fooled by this apparent romantic gesture (as I was) - just as I raised the glass to my lips and about to compliment Bernard on my perfect steak, Jack shouted ‘Dad, the game is starting!’ and he was up and gone like a flash. He did leave the bottle behind though...

Similarly, Bernard’s excited announcement this morning at breakfast that my next installment (fix) of Downtown Abbey has been shipped and will be here in time for the weekend (yay!!) just about distracted me from the boys’ conversation about tonight’s football game.  Can you spot the pattern??  But its poor Ava I feel sorry for - at least I get wine and John Bates as consolation prizes...

In the end though, I did get up and ran* on the treadmill.  (I use the term ‘running’ extremely loosely here, call it poetic licence). My training is progressing nicely - which means extremely slow / haven’t given up yet. Registration starts today for the Flora Women’s Mini Marathon (10k) - my two friends have agreed to do it again, and this will be our fourth year.  I can enter as a Fast Jogger but hope to complete it in under an hour (easy to set such high goals so early on - there’s a 103 days to go and we all know that won’t pass asquickasablinkofaneye) which means I would be considered a ‘Runner’ next year!!  (imagine - a Runner!!)

At the moment, I’m enjoying the treadmill - I don’t have to worry about the weather, it’s easy to follow the training programme, and nobody can see me (can you guess which is my main reason for running inside?!)  But I’ve noticed it’s getting much brighter in the mornings and I have to admit I’m dying to get outdoors.  Maybe I’ll just make a sign - I AM OKAY. AMBULANCE NOT NEEDED - and wear it when running in public? Of course, that’s assuming people see my tomato red face, heavy breathing, and sweat soaked shirt and think “omg, she’s having a heart attack”  instead of “omg - that is sooo funny.  That fat girl* is trying to run!!” ...

Again, I evoked my poetic licence here and referred to myself as a ‘girl’.  Fat, I’ll admit to...  Old, I’ll also admit to (albeit begrudgingly as there’s not much I can do in relation to the stupid ageing process)..  But ‘fat’ and ‘old’ in the same sentence - c’mon!  As Jack would say, that’s harsh...  

Besides,  it’s my blog and I’ll lie if I want to...

Old Bits and Pieces

Jack has been really well behaved recently. Ava, however, has stepped up to fill the vacancy and is proving to be a worthy successor - the same attitude and drama, but with a strut.

So we had a family trip to the Pavilions this afternoon and decided to go get muffins and coffee. We're all sitting down, I'm trying to sort out who gets what muffin, what drink, Bernard's on his phone, Ava's sorting out spoons and plates, Bobby's fighting with the cap of his drink, when Jack pipes up - "so will we have a conversation?"...

So I bought a do it yourself hair dye kit (deep cherry) for € 6.22 yesterday. Ran upstairs, gloved up, mixed, applied, waited, washed, conditioned, blow dryed, opened my eyes, looked in the mirror and.... I look exactly the same, but with a slightly different colour hair (that is - if you stand real close and I'm directly under a bright light) Why am I so disappointed? Did I really think it was gonna make me taller, skinnier, richer? Completely change my life....? Jack reckons I should have gone with the blonde...

I really need to sit down with my children and explain the difference between 'sarcasm' and 'sincerity'... in the meantime, I have to stop using phrases like "i'd love to", "tell me more, this is so interesting", and "of course I'd let you do that"....  

I am losing belief in the whole "children are a blessing" thing.... I think their sole purpose in life is to torment me, and everything else is just window dressing...  

I don't think Jack and I will ever be on the same wave length. Right now he thinks running away would be "revenge" whereas I'm thinking more like "reward"...

The kids were racing up the stairs and Bobby shouted out "last one up has to give the massage!".... that's weird, right?  

Jack couldn't complete his cross word.... Might have had something to do with one of his answers - (clue) "you go to school to do this"... 5 letters... beginning with "L"..... No, Jack it's not "lunch" - think again...... Yes, I'm sure, it's not "lunch"....

Kids are staying with grandma tomorrow night, so Ava asked if we could do movie night tonight. When I said "no" she said I was very mean and she is going to tell Ms. McGee (her teacher) on me. And Ms. McGee is going to tell GOD... Should I be scared?...

When there's a power cut in the area and your kids are huddled together in the living room, in the dark, scared and crying, it is not a good idea to illuminate your face with a flashlight and jump into the room cackling like a witch.. They will not think it's funny...

Conversation in car on way home from school..... "There was a fly on the window in school today so I killed it. I am going to feed it to my big pet spider in the garden when we get home.." "Umm, Ava, where is the fly now?!"... "Right here, in my fist. Don't worry, I'm not gonna lose it"...

Watching Jackass 2, the stupidest movie ever made, and it occurred to me that this could be Jack and his friends in 10 - 15 years time. God help me - maybe he won't grow out of it.....

Ava lying in bed shouts down "Mom, I don't want you die"... What a way to ruin my Sunday night buzz....  

"Ava, what are you doing?" .. "nothing".. "then why are you trying to sneak past me with a knife behind your back?"... Eventually I get told a story involving the words "bubble gum" and "stuck"....

Felt tired after dinner so snuck upstairs. After a whole thirty seconds alone time, Jack comes into the room. "What ya doing?" "I'm tired. Just want to rest for 30 mins". "Okay, Mom. I'll let you have a whole hour". Kisses me, pats me on the head, and leaves. All of two minutes later - he's back in the room. "Um, mom, we're not coping at all well downstairs without you ..."  

At check out in Supervalu today. Very busy. Jack says "mom?" (everybody instantly looks to see which "mom") "you're not going to like this but..." ( now everyone's listening) "Bobby did this, Ava did that, blah blah..". I'm trying my best to bag the shopping, pay the lady, and ignore him while everyone else is listening. Then Ava starts shouting "it was Bobby's fault, he kicked me in the Va- gee gee" "The Va-Gee-Gee!"... I cannot wait for school to start back next week....  

Watching Bear Grylls - Top 25 Man Moments on tv. Can't decide if this guy is incredibly brave or just really really stupid... How do people get these sort of jobs? There's a kid like this on our road - eating bugs and always taking daring risks, but he went to the doctor and he's a lot better now that he has his special pills...  

Jack just came in and noticed that I was wearing my reading glasses, which I don't wear that often. I said "they make me look like Grandma". Jack's response - "but that's a good thing! At least, Grandma knows how to bake"  

Decided to introduce pocket money, provided the kids complete daily chores to incl keeping bedrooms tidy, setting the table etc. Extra chores = extra money. Talked about responsibility, value of money, strong work ethics, pride, money management, setting goals... At the end of my "motivational speech" Jack offered me a fiver to clean his room...  

Kids were acting up today so I threatened they would miss swimming. Only to be told that I was being silly - swimming lessons cost way too much money...

See Saw Sickness

Jack is sick again.  He seemed much better yesterday, ate well and had no complaints of headaches.  But then last night he woke up really upset, seemed to be hallucinating, and his fever was back.   And even though he (again) seems fine today (eating good, no fever, no headaches), his behaviour has been really strange, prompting me to believe he is indeed very sick.  Such as... 

1.  He slept in this morning until 8.20.  This is unheard of, he’s always up before seven, especially if there is a Playstation in the house or a working television.

2.  When I said I was keeping him home from school but that he would not be allowed to play with the Playstation he said ‘alright,  I don’t feel like doing it anyway’...

3.  He climbed up onto my lap for a cuddle (he hasn’t done that since he was old enough to squirm out of my arms, and boy has he gotten big and heavy) …   

4.  He called me in twice for a hug (?!)  ... and most damning of all

5.  When I asked him to get ready as it was nearly time to pick up Ava and Bobby he said ‘okay Mom’... and then actually got up and got ready, right away, without me having to say it a second, twentieth time...

So, I think he’s really, really sick, but not so sick he’s going to miss another day of school....

In other news, Ava was again bemoaning the fact she does not have a pet. If you saw how she treats (tortures) her stuffed animals (dressing them to include jewellery, make up and painted nails) you would understand why.  Anyway, she was wishing that Flecky, our next door neighbour’s cat, would have kittens that she could play with.  Jack, our lover of facts, stated that it was not possible for Flecky to have kittens because a) Flecky is too old; b) Flecky is in fact a boy cat; and c) Flecky does not have a girlfriend.  Ava, believer in all things possible,  announced that ‘maybe Flecky will be blessed by God’ and have a child cat, and flounced out of the room... Discussion over - religion trumps facts, i guess.  

Nightmare Scenarios

Yes, it is a nice day today.  Yes, it has stopped raining for the first time in what feels like a hundred days.  Yes, the sky does appear to be blue.  Yes, everyone seems in good form and we were all in need of a lift of the spirits. No, it is not okay to wear shorts.  Seriously, shorts?!  Even in a good year, there may be a maximum of three days that we can (legitimately) wear shorts in Ireland and I don’t care how blue the sky, or how many days it’s been raining, the 17th February is not a day for shorts.  Please go home and cover up. And put on a jumper while you’re at it... I’m cold just looking at you.

Jack seems better today.  Of course he was up at 2 this morning, and again at 4, throwing up but vomit I can deal with.  Headaches and unseen ailments - nope, they turn me into a useless heap and I start to seriously fret  ‘what if they’re sick, like actually sick?’.  Which then leads onto worse, horrible scenarios.  My imagination can run wild and the images flashing through my brain were making  me sick to my stomach.... such as my parents having to come to the house to mind Bobby and Ava while we’re in the hospital with Jack....  Would I have time to scrub the kitchen floor while waiting for the ambulance?  Would Mom notice the over flowing hamper in the boys’ room (of course she would)... What if they decided to change Jack’s bed and realized that I just kind of  ‘bundle’ my sheets and throw them in the hot press - not neatly folded, and not even ironed?  Oh god, what if Dad opened the door to my Utility Room.....  

Okay, calm down, Jack’s grand now and  I can do the housework tomorrow... Well definitely Tuesday....Sure, there’s no rush.  ;-)

Google Search

You know how you should never text while drunk?  Well, you should never log onto Google when one of your kids is sick.  You should be questioned before typing in a single symptom.  Are you a level headed individual concerned about your child and simply looking for advice on how to best treat the following symptoms?  Or are you the dramatic type who tends to fly off the handle and always believes in the worse case scenario and are currently trying to decide between a trip to A&E or ringing an ambulance based on the following symptoms?  Obviously, if you veer towards the dramatic your internet search engine should just shut down and refuse to work...  You could then use this time to sit with your child and try to make them feel better, rather than frantically typing on your computer, becoming increasingly agitated while shouting questions at them - do you have a headache?  Where?  I know your head, but where? Are you feeling nauseous?  Can you move your elbow???  Let me see you move your elbow! ...

Jack is sick and apparently he’s either got the flu or Lymes disease....   

Bobby just came down the stairs - he can’t sleep and was crying because he feels ‘so sad about Jack’ and wants to know who he’ll play Playstation with now that Jack won’t be around .....  Looks like Bobby takes after his mom....

Romance is Dead. Long Live Romance

Well, I got my Valentine present.  Was it wrapped nicely with a pretty bow?  No. Was it given to me by candle light with soft music playing in the background.  No.  Was it romantic?  Not by traditional standards maybe, but I am over the moon...  Apparently, every once in awhile, my ramblings are heard and acted on (who knew?!) Bernard got me a Garmin watch!  It tracks distance, pace, heart rate, and calories burned, and keeps a record of each training session.  So excited! Of course, it’s still waaaay too cold and dark to actual run out doors so I’ll have to wait a few weeks before I try it out, but so eager and so touched by the thoughtful present.  Romance is dead.  Long live romance!!  

By the way, I bought Bernard a shirt which of course doesn’t fit, so I get to return it and buy something nice for myself instead...  :-)

After a crap week in work, the only thing I wanted to do tonight was sit back with a glass (yes, of course I actually mean 'bottle') of wine and watch the next episode of Homeland... (have pretty much given up on tv and have been watching Netflix / box set dvds - which means an absolute addiction to a particular show and non stop watching it until there’s no more and I feel like my best friend has died - Dexter Morgan, Jessie Pinkman of Breaking Bad, John Bates of Downtown Abbey, now Homeland....)  The last thing I wanted was a text saying there was football training for the boys tonight.  Of course a discussion with Bernard over who would bring them was considered moot once he realised that I had (in retrospect, stupidly) bought 24 cans of Heineken (not stupid that I bought it, the slab was only €33, stupid that I told him, because once he knew they were in the fridge there wasn’t a hope in hell Bernard was leaving the kitchen tonight).  So I got to drive for 20 mins, stand in the cold for an hour, then drive 20 minutes home - on a Friday night.  These things should not be allowed and should be termed as parental abuse.  Anyway, home again, kids put to bed in lightning speed, and wine has been poured... The weekend has officially begun!!  

Valentine's Day

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.  A day where we’re supposed to express our love and devotion to one another, and spends loads of money proving it.  I’ve never really understood the concept - how can your actions on one particular day show how much you love someone?  Does it depend on the number of presents you buy? How much you spend?   How many people see what you received and can therefore be jealous of ‘how loved’ you are?  How does walking into a florist and simply buying a dozen red roses, with no thought to the flower's colour or size or smell or look or preference,  translate into romance?  Surely romance is a personal thing, unique to you and your relationship?  

I’m not big into bouquets of flowers or overblown gestures, and the thought of a ‘surprise weekend away’ scares the shit out of me.  (who packs the clothes for these weekends?!) Over the years, Bernard has bought me flowers twice (neither was for Valentine’s Day) - one was a dozen red roses, the other was a pretty pot containing fake tulips (my favourite).  The roses were dead in the bin a few days later, the tulips are sixteen years old and have pride of place on my bedroom window sill... which choice was more romantic?  I get a mug of coffee brought up to me every morning and Bernard will randomly download new music onto my iPod. When my mom agrees to take the kids, we'll head down to the pub and he'll buy me a bag of chips for the walk home, rather than booking a swanky restaurant that I have to ‘dress up for’.  He always asks how my day was, and will tape my favourite show if I happen to be out......  (Of course, it works both ways - and unfortunately, Bernard is a Liverpool fan so not much fun watching those games at the moment) …  Because these gestures are private and personal  to me, does that mean I am less loved or that Bernard is not romantic?  I don’t think so...  

So Valentine’s Day - a pointless waste of money, right?  Ummm, well, no.   Seeing as my birthday is on Christmas Day and I’m always being short changed there,  I fully, and unashamedly, support any day that is celebrated by giving (and receiving!!!) presents.  

Yep, when you come down to it, Bernard's the romantic one, I'm pretty shallow!

:-)

Self Belief

Ava's moved up to the next class in swimming - she's in the top class now! She was so happy with herself as she was introduced to her new teacher. In the car on the way home she turned to me and, with her face beaming, announced "I'm going to be the next big thing"!! .. 'Really Ava? Who said that?' ... She stopped smiling and replied, deadly serious, "I'M saying it" ... :-)

Now if Ava at seven can think that, surely I can run (slowly crawl) 13 miles in 24 weeks time?! Day one of my training went well and I'm planning to do weights in the morning. Hopefully, if i keep to plan and think like my daughter, in a few weeks / months (years?) I'll be the next 'small' thing!

Bi Polar Parenting

Jack was talking about the time Bernard bought a razor to cut the boys' hair.  We decided this would be a quick and easy way to save money.  (it wasn't quick or easy and, seeing as the boy's get their hair cut about once every three months, wasn't a huge money saver).

Jack - The boys in school made fun of my hair and called me names.
Bobby - So what?  If someone makes fun of you, just say 'Shut up, asshole'..
Me - Bobby you are not allowed to use that word.  Jack if someone is making fun of you, that's exactly what to say.

Ever look at your kids and wonder what the future holds?  What paths they will choose?  Careers?  A successful footballer, or a vet....  Told the kids to put their shoes on today, we're heading to Newbridge Park for a walk.   It was too wet to bring a ball, so Bobby took his scooter. Ava brought a bag of carrots to feed to the horses and deer.  And Jack?  Jack brought a toy gun so he could shoot squirrels...

So decided to give up on facebook...  And the more I stay away the less appealing a return is.  I've turned 40 and want to do more with my life than sit on a computer - so of course I decided to set up a blog...

Seriously though, it's time to put Michele first and there's a few things I'd like to accomplish this year.... I want to run the Flora mini marathon 10k this year and beat my previous time of 72 minutes; I want to 'complete' a half marathon (have signed up for the Rock and Roll Dublin half marathon in August), maybe find a cure for cancer, and, time allowing, somewhat sort and organise my utility room.    

The mini marathon goal is pretty achievable - if I start training now I've loads of time, it's at the beginning of June.  
The half marathon - I don't know about this one so much.  But my hopes are high and that's half the battle, right?  I've printed out a training schedule and everything and it looks pretty straight forward.  Run 2 miles one week, increase to 3 miles the next week, then on to 4 miles - sure there's nothing to it, I'll be doing 12 miles in no time! :-)
A cure for cancer - who knows?!  Wasn't penicillin discovered through a fungus?  And lord knows what I'm going to find in the deep, dark recesses of my utility room...
Sorting and organizing my Utility Room - this is probably the hardest one of all.  Imagine Bluebeard's closet - that's like my utility room. Things go into and never come out...  So cleaning.... and sorting... and organising... and keeping it that way?  I don't know.  If you're placing bets chances are better that I'll complete the (i.e. crawl gasping with a dying breath over the finish line) half marathon in August.

Of course, along the way, I hope to lose some weight!  Not quite ready to start putting numbers out there but....  I want to lose more than what Ava currently weighs.... This subject will have to be a wait and see subject, me thinks!

Anyway, this blog is more about putting things down - if I write it I have to do it.  But of course that only works if someone actually reads it, so I don't know.  I've been talking to Bernard about these goals for the last few weeks and every single time he looks at me likes he's never heard me mention the word 'running' before.  But, of course, nothing new there!  Maybe if I send this to him in an e-mail or something he'll read it out to me - 'hey, someone with a name like yours has a blog.  She's planning to run a half marathon. You should do something like that...'....

Time will tell.