Alcohol Induced Decision Making

It was a gorgeous day here today!  Went for a brisk walk around Newbridge House this morning (loads of cute birds out searching for nest building materials), then came home and hung out a wash.  Is it just me, or does the sight of sheets flapping on the washing line give you a good, happy feeling inside?  Just me? Oh-kay.  I think it's the defiant act of hanging out a wash in this contrary Irish weather and thinking, optimistically, that today maybe, just maybe, the wash will DRY out there. I dunno, but it makes me feel happy...  (by the way, the sheets did not dry (surprise, surprise) and are now draped all over my radiators and will have to be ironed...)

So, I'm in the kitchen in great form, feeling the joys of Spring, when it happened.  I got notification that the course for the Rock and Roll Dublin Half Marathon has been announced.  I know the race is 13.1 miles. I know it's going to be hard.  But when I signed up for it I thought (obviously my brain was somewhat fuzzy by wine) that it was at least do-able.  That I had time to train and would be able to undertake the challenge.  (I think the image in my head involved a slight jog around Temple Bar and a Chariots of Fire type crossing of the finish line).  Honestly, I thought my days of bad-decision-making-based-on-the-consumption-of-alcohol were long behind me.  Apparently not. Maybe I should give up wine? (Although just getting Bernard to hide the credit card at the weekend is probably a more realistic option).

13.1 miles looks really, really long.  Showed Bernard, previously known as my number one supporter, the course and his first reaction was 'Phoenix Park?!  Remember that 5 mile race you did there and the hills nearly killed you?'...  No, I had actually forgotten about (purposely blocked from memory) Phoenix Park and the stupid hills (MOUNTAINS) but I am so glad you reminded me and made my blissfully ignorant, still think I can do this, mentality only temporary ...  Jack, previously known as my number two supporter, just said 'Yep, no way you're running that'....  

Yes, I know it's stupid.  Yes, I know me doing such a thing is completely far fetched, ludicrous even.  But you know what?  I really want to do it....   God help me, that better be enough.. 

Lazy Sunday

I love lazy Sundays.  Day started with Jack bringing me up a cup of coffee in bed ( one of the thousand great things about a Nespresso machine - perfect coffee with just the press of a button. Even a child can do it!) .  I got up and did my treadmill run . Ava came out to keep me company, which translates to 'Can't you go faster?'  'How much longer?' 'When can I have a go?'..  I must remember to lock the door in future...

I felt great afterwards, like I could do anything. I didn't actually do anything today but I felt I could if I wanted to.. .

Rest Day

It was all systems go today. This was the first Saturday in ages that the football pitches were playable and both boys had games.  Jack 'turned' at Christmas time - he decided to leave the gaelic he's been playing since the age of four and join the soccer team, and this was the first match he'd be playing in... Very exciting, so we were all up early.  It was soooo cold this morning that I was scurrying around trying to find under armour tops, leggings, hats, scarves, and gloves.  The lads seemed pretty cold in their shorts but I was nice and warm on the sideline!

I got to see the second half of Bobby's game and the first half of Jack's.  Bobby's team has not lost a game in over a  year, and today was no exception.  Bobby also scored a hat trick, again nothing new there!  :-)    Poor Jack was so nervous -  he had a few really good tries, but just not on target.  I had to leave the game early to take Ava to her party and before I reached the car Bernard texted me that Jack has scored!  So annoyed I missed it, but so happy for him!  Has given him a much needed confidence boost.  His team won as well today!  We'll celebrate with a bottle of wine later - when the kids are tucked up asleep in bed, of course.

I drove Ava to her party...  Came home for lunch...  Sorted out clothes for Bobby's football party - tracksuit bottoms with no holes in the knees, which took a while to find...  Spent fifteen minutes trying to explain to Bobby why, yes it does matter that there are no holes in your trousers.  No, I don't care that all the other boys will probably be wearing trousers with holes.  Yes, it is important that you look nice going to the party...   Collected Ava from the party... Got petrol - by the time I drove into the garage I think the car was running on fumes...   Brought Bobby to his party...  Did food shopping...  Collected Bobby from his party. (nobody had holes in their trousers that I could see)... Cooked dinner...  Brought Bobby to mass (his communion is in May)...  Made popcorn for movie night...  

I didn't get doing a run but then again today was a 'Rest Day' on my schedule.

Rogue Element

This time last week I was standing in the cold at my boys' football training, moaning that my Friday nights couldn't get any worse.  I was dreading the same again tonight.  Until the text came in saying it wasn't on!  Hallelujah!!  Friday night in my warm living room with a glass of cold wine...

But I had forgotten the rogue element, the fly in the ointment if you will, that goes by the name of Ava.  She has a party to attend tomorrow and hadn't yet chosen what to wear. And for some strange reason (anyone that knows me knows I am certainly no fashionista) I got to 'help'..  I think she just wanted  my opinion so that my choices could go into the Definitely No pile...  And while sitting there amongst the discarded garments (tops, skirts, trousers, dresses, cardigans, tights, headbands) and watching Ava model her 1,874 outfit I realized that ... yes, things can always get worse....

Play Dates

Ava is home from her second play date this week. And she has a birthday party this weekend... I don't even get invited for coffee anymore.  Apparently all the mothers are too busy hosting play dates.  I don't have time for a social life anyway - I am way too busy with my side line job, chauffeuring my children around to parties, and swimming, and football, and dancing, and athletics, and training, and.....  And I am the worst for returning play dates. It's not that I'm so busy that I couldn't handle an extra kid around the place (though 'busy' is the excuse I give) it's just that it seems like so much work nowadays.  The kids come home not only fed and played out, but also with their homework done!  How organized are these moms - I find it hard enough to get my own kids to do their own homework.

But I'm not jealous of my children's happy social lives. Nope, not at all.

Poetic Licence

It was really hard getting out of bed this morning.  Don’t know if it was the comfortable bed, the dark morning, or the steak and wine I had last night.  Yep, steak and wine on a weeknight!  Bernard unexpectedly prepared a lovely dinner, accompanied by a glass of really nice, velvety smooth, red wine.  However, don’t be fooled by this apparent romantic gesture (as I was) - just as I raised the glass to my lips and about to compliment Bernard on my perfect steak, Jack shouted ‘Dad, the game is starting!’ and he was up and gone like a flash. He did leave the bottle behind though...

Similarly, Bernard’s excited announcement this morning at breakfast that my next installment (fix) of Downtown Abbey has been shipped and will be here in time for the weekend (yay!!) just about distracted me from the boys’ conversation about tonight’s football game.  Can you spot the pattern??  But its poor Ava I feel sorry for - at least I get wine and John Bates as consolation prizes...

In the end though, I did get up and ran* on the treadmill.  (I use the term ‘running’ extremely loosely here, call it poetic licence). My training is progressing nicely - which means extremely slow / haven’t given up yet. Registration starts today for the Flora Women’s Mini Marathon (10k) - my two friends have agreed to do it again, and this will be our fourth year.  I can enter as a Fast Jogger but hope to complete it in under an hour (easy to set such high goals so early on - there’s a 103 days to go and we all know that won’t pass asquickasablinkofaneye) which means I would be considered a ‘Runner’ next year!!  (imagine - a Runner!!)

At the moment, I’m enjoying the treadmill - I don’t have to worry about the weather, it’s easy to follow the training programme, and nobody can see me (can you guess which is my main reason for running inside?!)  But I’ve noticed it’s getting much brighter in the mornings and I have to admit I’m dying to get outdoors.  Maybe I’ll just make a sign - I AM OKAY. AMBULANCE NOT NEEDED - and wear it when running in public? Of course, that’s assuming people see my tomato red face, heavy breathing, and sweat soaked shirt and think “omg, she’s having a heart attack”  instead of “omg - that is sooo funny.  That fat girl* is trying to run!!” ...

Again, I evoked my poetic licence here and referred to myself as a ‘girl’.  Fat, I’ll admit to...  Old, I’ll also admit to (albeit begrudgingly as there’s not much I can do in relation to the stupid ageing process)..  But ‘fat’ and ‘old’ in the same sentence - c’mon!  As Jack would say, that’s harsh...  

Besides,  it’s my blog and I’ll lie if I want to...

Old Bits and Pieces

Jack has been really well behaved recently. Ava, however, has stepped up to fill the vacancy and is proving to be a worthy successor - the same attitude and drama, but with a strut.

So we had a family trip to the Pavilions this afternoon and decided to go get muffins and coffee. We're all sitting down, I'm trying to sort out who gets what muffin, what drink, Bernard's on his phone, Ava's sorting out spoons and plates, Bobby's fighting with the cap of his drink, when Jack pipes up - "so will we have a conversation?"...

So I bought a do it yourself hair dye kit (deep cherry) for € 6.22 yesterday. Ran upstairs, gloved up, mixed, applied, waited, washed, conditioned, blow dryed, opened my eyes, looked in the mirror and.... I look exactly the same, but with a slightly different colour hair (that is - if you stand real close and I'm directly under a bright light) Why am I so disappointed? Did I really think it was gonna make me taller, skinnier, richer? Completely change my life....? Jack reckons I should have gone with the blonde...

I really need to sit down with my children and explain the difference between 'sarcasm' and 'sincerity'... in the meantime, I have to stop using phrases like "i'd love to", "tell me more, this is so interesting", and "of course I'd let you do that"....  

I am losing belief in the whole "children are a blessing" thing.... I think their sole purpose in life is to torment me, and everything else is just window dressing...  

I don't think Jack and I will ever be on the same wave length. Right now he thinks running away would be "revenge" whereas I'm thinking more like "reward"...

The kids were racing up the stairs and Bobby shouted out "last one up has to give the massage!".... that's weird, right?  

Jack couldn't complete his cross word.... Might have had something to do with one of his answers - (clue) "you go to school to do this"... 5 letters... beginning with "L"..... No, Jack it's not "lunch" - think again...... Yes, I'm sure, it's not "lunch"....

Kids are staying with grandma tomorrow night, so Ava asked if we could do movie night tonight. When I said "no" she said I was very mean and she is going to tell Ms. McGee (her teacher) on me. And Ms. McGee is going to tell GOD... Should I be scared?...

When there's a power cut in the area and your kids are huddled together in the living room, in the dark, scared and crying, it is not a good idea to illuminate your face with a flashlight and jump into the room cackling like a witch.. They will not think it's funny...

Conversation in car on way home from school..... "There was a fly on the window in school today so I killed it. I am going to feed it to my big pet spider in the garden when we get home.." "Umm, Ava, where is the fly now?!"... "Right here, in my fist. Don't worry, I'm not gonna lose it"...

Watching Jackass 2, the stupidest movie ever made, and it occurred to me that this could be Jack and his friends in 10 - 15 years time. God help me - maybe he won't grow out of it.....

Ava lying in bed shouts down "Mom, I don't want you die"... What a way to ruin my Sunday night buzz....  

"Ava, what are you doing?" .. "nothing".. "then why are you trying to sneak past me with a knife behind your back?"... Eventually I get told a story involving the words "bubble gum" and "stuck"....

Felt tired after dinner so snuck upstairs. After a whole thirty seconds alone time, Jack comes into the room. "What ya doing?" "I'm tired. Just want to rest for 30 mins". "Okay, Mom. I'll let you have a whole hour". Kisses me, pats me on the head, and leaves. All of two minutes later - he's back in the room. "Um, mom, we're not coping at all well downstairs without you ..."  

At check out in Supervalu today. Very busy. Jack says "mom?" (everybody instantly looks to see which "mom") "you're not going to like this but..." ( now everyone's listening) "Bobby did this, Ava did that, blah blah..". I'm trying my best to bag the shopping, pay the lady, and ignore him while everyone else is listening. Then Ava starts shouting "it was Bobby's fault, he kicked me in the Va- gee gee" "The Va-Gee-Gee!"... I cannot wait for school to start back next week....  

Watching Bear Grylls - Top 25 Man Moments on tv. Can't decide if this guy is incredibly brave or just really really stupid... How do people get these sort of jobs? There's a kid like this on our road - eating bugs and always taking daring risks, but he went to the doctor and he's a lot better now that he has his special pills...  

Jack just came in and noticed that I was wearing my reading glasses, which I don't wear that often. I said "they make me look like Grandma". Jack's response - "but that's a good thing! At least, Grandma knows how to bake"  

Decided to introduce pocket money, provided the kids complete daily chores to incl keeping bedrooms tidy, setting the table etc. Extra chores = extra money. Talked about responsibility, value of money, strong work ethics, pride, money management, setting goals... At the end of my "motivational speech" Jack offered me a fiver to clean his room...  

Kids were acting up today so I threatened they would miss swimming. Only to be told that I was being silly - swimming lessons cost way too much money...

See Saw Sickness

Jack is sick again.  He seemed much better yesterday, ate well and had no complaints of headaches.  But then last night he woke up really upset, seemed to be hallucinating, and his fever was back.   And even though he (again) seems fine today (eating good, no fever, no headaches), his behaviour has been really strange, prompting me to believe he is indeed very sick.  Such as... 

1.  He slept in this morning until 8.20.  This is unheard of, he’s always up before seven, especially if there is a Playstation in the house or a working television.

2.  When I said I was keeping him home from school but that he would not be allowed to play with the Playstation he said ‘alright,  I don’t feel like doing it anyway’...

3.  He climbed up onto my lap for a cuddle (he hasn’t done that since he was old enough to squirm out of my arms, and boy has he gotten big and heavy) …   

4.  He called me in twice for a hug (?!)  ... and most damning of all

5.  When I asked him to get ready as it was nearly time to pick up Ava and Bobby he said ‘okay Mom’... and then actually got up and got ready, right away, without me having to say it a second, twentieth time...

So, I think he’s really, really sick, but not so sick he’s going to miss another day of school....

In other news, Ava was again bemoaning the fact she does not have a pet. If you saw how she treats (tortures) her stuffed animals (dressing them to include jewellery, make up and painted nails) you would understand why.  Anyway, she was wishing that Flecky, our next door neighbour’s cat, would have kittens that she could play with.  Jack, our lover of facts, stated that it was not possible for Flecky to have kittens because a) Flecky is too old; b) Flecky is in fact a boy cat; and c) Flecky does not have a girlfriend.  Ava, believer in all things possible,  announced that ‘maybe Flecky will be blessed by God’ and have a child cat, and flounced out of the room... Discussion over - religion trumps facts, i guess.  

Nightmare Scenarios

Yes, it is a nice day today.  Yes, it has stopped raining for the first time in what feels like a hundred days.  Yes, the sky does appear to be blue.  Yes, everyone seems in good form and we were all in need of a lift of the spirits. No, it is not okay to wear shorts.  Seriously, shorts?!  Even in a good year, there may be a maximum of three days that we can (legitimately) wear shorts in Ireland and I don’t care how blue the sky, or how many days it’s been raining, the 17th February is not a day for shorts.  Please go home and cover up. And put on a jumper while you’re at it... I’m cold just looking at you.

Jack seems better today.  Of course he was up at 2 this morning, and again at 4, throwing up but vomit I can deal with.  Headaches and unseen ailments - nope, they turn me into a useless heap and I start to seriously fret  ‘what if they’re sick, like actually sick?’.  Which then leads onto worse, horrible scenarios.  My imagination can run wild and the images flashing through my brain were making  me sick to my stomach.... such as my parents having to come to the house to mind Bobby and Ava while we’re in the hospital with Jack....  Would I have time to scrub the kitchen floor while waiting for the ambulance?  Would Mom notice the over flowing hamper in the boys’ room (of course she would)... What if they decided to change Jack’s bed and realized that I just kind of  ‘bundle’ my sheets and throw them in the hot press - not neatly folded, and not even ironed?  Oh god, what if Dad opened the door to my Utility Room.....  

Okay, calm down, Jack’s grand now and  I can do the housework tomorrow... Well definitely Tuesday....Sure, there’s no rush.  ;-)

Google Search

You know how you should never text while drunk?  Well, you should never log onto Google when one of your kids is sick.  You should be questioned before typing in a single symptom.  Are you a level headed individual concerned about your child and simply looking for advice on how to best treat the following symptoms?  Or are you the dramatic type who tends to fly off the handle and always believes in the worse case scenario and are currently trying to decide between a trip to A&E or ringing an ambulance based on the following symptoms?  Obviously, if you veer towards the dramatic your internet search engine should just shut down and refuse to work...  You could then use this time to sit with your child and try to make them feel better, rather than frantically typing on your computer, becoming increasingly agitated while shouting questions at them - do you have a headache?  Where?  I know your head, but where? Are you feeling nauseous?  Can you move your elbow???  Let me see you move your elbow! ...

Jack is sick and apparently he’s either got the flu or Lymes disease....   

Bobby just came down the stairs - he can’t sleep and was crying because he feels ‘so sad about Jack’ and wants to know who he’ll play Playstation with now that Jack won’t be around .....  Looks like Bobby takes after his mom....

Romance is Dead. Long Live Romance

Well, I got my Valentine present.  Was it wrapped nicely with a pretty bow?  No. Was it given to me by candle light with soft music playing in the background.  No.  Was it romantic?  Not by traditional standards maybe, but I am over the moon...  Apparently, every once in awhile, my ramblings are heard and acted on (who knew?!) Bernard got me a Garmin watch!  It tracks distance, pace, heart rate, and calories burned, and keeps a record of each training session.  So excited! Of course, it’s still waaaay too cold and dark to actual run out doors so I’ll have to wait a few weeks before I try it out, but so eager and so touched by the thoughtful present.  Romance is dead.  Long live romance!!  

By the way, I bought Bernard a shirt which of course doesn’t fit, so I get to return it and buy something nice for myself instead...  :-)

After a crap week in work, the only thing I wanted to do tonight was sit back with a glass (yes, of course I actually mean 'bottle') of wine and watch the next episode of Homeland... (have pretty much given up on tv and have been watching Netflix / box set dvds - which means an absolute addiction to a particular show and non stop watching it until there’s no more and I feel like my best friend has died - Dexter Morgan, Jessie Pinkman of Breaking Bad, John Bates of Downtown Abbey, now Homeland....)  The last thing I wanted was a text saying there was football training for the boys tonight.  Of course a discussion with Bernard over who would bring them was considered moot once he realised that I had (in retrospect, stupidly) bought 24 cans of Heineken (not stupid that I bought it, the slab was only €33, stupid that I told him, because once he knew they were in the fridge there wasn’t a hope in hell Bernard was leaving the kitchen tonight).  So I got to drive for 20 mins, stand in the cold for an hour, then drive 20 minutes home - on a Friday night.  These things should not be allowed and should be termed as parental abuse.  Anyway, home again, kids put to bed in lightning speed, and wine has been poured... The weekend has officially begun!!  

Valentine's Day

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.  A day where we’re supposed to express our love and devotion to one another, and spends loads of money proving it.  I’ve never really understood the concept - how can your actions on one particular day show how much you love someone?  Does it depend on the number of presents you buy? How much you spend?   How many people see what you received and can therefore be jealous of ‘how loved’ you are?  How does walking into a florist and simply buying a dozen red roses, with no thought to the flower's colour or size or smell or look or preference,  translate into romance?  Surely romance is a personal thing, unique to you and your relationship?  

I’m not big into bouquets of flowers or overblown gestures, and the thought of a ‘surprise weekend away’ scares the shit out of me.  (who packs the clothes for these weekends?!) Over the years, Bernard has bought me flowers twice (neither was for Valentine’s Day) - one was a dozen red roses, the other was a pretty pot containing fake tulips (my favourite).  The roses were dead in the bin a few days later, the tulips are sixteen years old and have pride of place on my bedroom window sill... which choice was more romantic?  I get a mug of coffee brought up to me every morning and Bernard will randomly download new music onto my iPod. When my mom agrees to take the kids, we'll head down to the pub and he'll buy me a bag of chips for the walk home, rather than booking a swanky restaurant that I have to ‘dress up for’.  He always asks how my day was, and will tape my favourite show if I happen to be out......  (Of course, it works both ways - and unfortunately, Bernard is a Liverpool fan so not much fun watching those games at the moment) …  Because these gestures are private and personal  to me, does that mean I am less loved or that Bernard is not romantic?  I don’t think so...  

So Valentine’s Day - a pointless waste of money, right?  Ummm, well, no.   Seeing as my birthday is on Christmas Day and I’m always being short changed there,  I fully, and unashamedly, support any day that is celebrated by giving (and receiving!!!) presents.  

Yep, when you come down to it, Bernard's the romantic one, I'm pretty shallow!

:-)

Self Belief

Ava's moved up to the next class in swimming - she's in the top class now! She was so happy with herself as she was introduced to her new teacher. In the car on the way home she turned to me and, with her face beaming, announced "I'm going to be the next big thing"!! .. 'Really Ava? Who said that?' ... She stopped smiling and replied, deadly serious, "I'M saying it" ... :-)

Now if Ava at seven can think that, surely I can run (slowly crawl) 13 miles in 24 weeks time?! Day one of my training went well and I'm planning to do weights in the morning. Hopefully, if i keep to plan and think like my daughter, in a few weeks / months (years?) I'll be the next 'small' thing!

Bi Polar Parenting

Jack was talking about the time Bernard bought a razor to cut the boys' hair.  We decided this would be a quick and easy way to save money.  (it wasn't quick or easy and, seeing as the boy's get their hair cut about once every three months, wasn't a huge money saver).

Jack - The boys in school made fun of my hair and called me names.
Bobby - So what?  If someone makes fun of you, just say 'Shut up, asshole'..
Me - Bobby you are not allowed to use that word.  Jack if someone is making fun of you, that's exactly what to say.

Ever look at your kids and wonder what the future holds?  What paths they will choose?  Careers?  A successful footballer, or a vet....  Told the kids to put their shoes on today, we're heading to Newbridge Park for a walk.   It was too wet to bring a ball, so Bobby took his scooter. Ava brought a bag of carrots to feed to the horses and deer.  And Jack?  Jack brought a toy gun so he could shoot squirrels...

So decided to give up on facebook...  And the more I stay away the less appealing a return is.  I've turned 40 and want to do more with my life than sit on a computer - so of course I decided to set up a blog...

Seriously though, it's time to put Michele first and there's a few things I'd like to accomplish this year.... I want to run the Flora mini marathon 10k this year and beat my previous time of 72 minutes; I want to 'complete' a half marathon (have signed up for the Rock and Roll Dublin half marathon in August), maybe find a cure for cancer, and, time allowing, somewhat sort and organise my utility room.    

The mini marathon goal is pretty achievable - if I start training now I've loads of time, it's at the beginning of June.  
The half marathon - I don't know about this one so much.  But my hopes are high and that's half the battle, right?  I've printed out a training schedule and everything and it looks pretty straight forward.  Run 2 miles one week, increase to 3 miles the next week, then on to 4 miles - sure there's nothing to it, I'll be doing 12 miles in no time! :-)
A cure for cancer - who knows?!  Wasn't penicillin discovered through a fungus?  And lord knows what I'm going to find in the deep, dark recesses of my utility room...
Sorting and organizing my Utility Room - this is probably the hardest one of all.  Imagine Bluebeard's closet - that's like my utility room. Things go into and never come out...  So cleaning.... and sorting... and organising... and keeping it that way?  I don't know.  If you're placing bets chances are better that I'll complete the (i.e. crawl gasping with a dying breath over the finish line) half marathon in August.

Of course, along the way, I hope to lose some weight!  Not quite ready to start putting numbers out there but....  I want to lose more than what Ava currently weighs.... This subject will have to be a wait and see subject, me thinks!

Anyway, this blog is more about putting things down - if I write it I have to do it.  But of course that only works if someone actually reads it, so I don't know.  I've been talking to Bernard about these goals for the last few weeks and every single time he looks at me likes he's never heard me mention the word 'running' before.  But, of course, nothing new there!  Maybe if I send this to him in an e-mail or something he'll read it out to me - 'hey, someone with a name like yours has a blog.  She's planning to run a half marathon. You should do something like that...'....

Time will tell.