Numbers on a Scale..

May '15

I got upset this morning after weighing in...  

Here I was, drenched in sweat after getting up at 6 am to do 30 mins on the treadmill, feeling really good about myself, positive and motivated, thinking about what I was going to wear today, and then I looked down at the scales - where I lost weight BUT only half a pound.  And what happened?  I felt like crying and eating a Mars Bar...  Honestly if there had been chocolate in the bathroom there would have been a full body melt down.   Just felt like giving in, what's the point?  Forget that I've been eating really well, forget that I've been exercising consistently for the last two weeks, forget that I've seriously cut back on wine, cheese, chocolate - what chocolate?  I ONLY lost half a pound.  I felt like crying and thinking about it now, it's so stupid I feel like crying again.  

How can a number on the scales make me feel so bad about myself?  Why does it hold such power over me?    These last two weeks not only have I been living a fit and healthy lifestyle, I've been setting a great example for the kids.  They're walking to and home from school without complaint, it's pretty much gone unnoticed that desserts have stopped during the week, we sit down as a family every morning and eat boiled eggs & brown bread / porridge for breakfast, the sugary cereals have become a sometime snack, I'm making healthier dinners and replacing unhealthy snacks with slightly better choices such as home made popcorn - Jack even liked the roasted chickpeas!  So why do I feel like I've failed this week?  

 Bernard told me / reminded me that the scales can't accurately reflect on effort - especially a scales that can fluctuate a couple of pounds depending on where you place it on the bathroom floor. He reminded me that changes can take time to show and a week isn't long enough to judge or to see results.  He's reminded me of the efforts I've been making, the sacrifices I've made, and how happy I've been to make them because the consequences have been so much better.   He's reminded me how I've been feeling so good about myself and told me that I've been looking amazing recently (ahhh!).  He told me that he's been so impressed with my 'running' and the happy effect it has on me, that he's thinking of taking it up himself   These are good things, and that's what I'm going to take with me from this morning.  

Fuck the scales.  I'm more than a number.  I'm a mom, and a wife, and an inspiration, and I'm getting healthy.